Too awesome not to share. And, well said! 🙂
Dear People in Love,
I am so happy you’ve found each other. I really am. I love love. I just don’t love your love. You two need to stop slobbering all over each other in public. The table at the restaurant is for eating food, not eating each other’s faces and horrifying children and old people while ruining my appetite. Your back pockets are for carrying wallets and condoms. Not secretly squeezing some of that Grade A new boyfriend ass. Go home and get it on all day and night. Hell, even tape it and put it on YouTube if you want. Just stop dry humping each other in line at the store. You knocked over the gum display. And that’s just rude.
(I dare you to smell your hand now.)
Dear Guy Who Cut Me Off,
Congratulations, asshole. You are now one whole car ahead of me…
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